Monthly Archives: May 2017

Do You Believe in Magic?

Previously published on my Tumblr page,

My last tumblr post was a kind of collection of my thoughts Anton LaVey’s “Satanic Bible”. At the time of writing the post I was a little less than half way through the book- but now I’ve read everything, except the very end of the book which was dedicated to detailed descriptions of Satanic rituals and spell casting. Earlier in the book, LaVey states that the spells fall into three main categories- “compassionate”, “seductive” and “destructive”. A compassion ritual might be conducted in order to bring good fortune to yourself or someone else or ease suffering in some way. A seduction ritual may be used to try to attract some favorable sexual partner or encounter to yourself. A destruction ritual is reserved for your enemies upon which you want to inflict harm.

I found it very interesting that LaVey, who espouses no belief in gods or demons would have such a strong belief in magic. He says that the laws of magic are basically the laws of nature, and thus tries to detract from the superstitious quality of magic. He actually sort of mocks so-called “intellectuals” who have divorced themselves from a belief in magic, saying that they are therefore making themselves prime victims for its workings. Here is an excerpt, where he discusses how doubt on the part of the victim makes curses more effective;

“The emphatic conscious denial of the potential of the curse is the very ingredient which will create its success, through setting up of accident prone situations. In many instances, the victim will deny any magical significance to his fate, even unto his dying gasp- although the magician is perfectly satisfied, so long as his desired results occur. It must be remembered that it matters not whether anyone attaches any significance to your working, so long as the results of the working are in accordance with your will.”

In this same chapter, “The Three Types of Satanic Ritual”, LaVey uses the example of Christian stigmata (that is the wounds of Christ appearing in a believer) to explain how powerful beliefs can take on a physical manifestation. This makes the assumption that reported cases of stigmata can actually be believed to be true, but we can deal with that at another time.

In the next chapter of the book, LaVey goes on to outline the ingredients to successful spell-casting- desire, timing, imagery, and direction. Desire deals with the setting of one’s will towards the particular purpose that they want to execute. Timing involves the casting of a spell when the target is weakest, such as at certain points in the sleep cycle. Imagery involves the use of objects, pictures, words, and the imagination to “see” what it is that you want to accomplish. Direction is a little less specific, but it seems to deal more with not “dwelling upon” or “complaining” about the possible outcome of the spell. My interpretation is that the parallel would be “not doubting” or “having faith” from the Christian perspective. It requires a certain confidence and assurance in the effect of your ritual.

Of course, the idea that performing certain rituals or reciting certain words can bring about a particular outcome isn’t unique to Satanism- it exists in most of the world’s belief systems. Evangelical Christians believe that by plastering scriptures everywhere, and reciting Bible verses related to healing constantly, “having enough faith”, and invoking the name of Jesus, they can bring about recovery from illness. Many of them have performed these rituals with favorable results, but at the same time there are people whose prayers seem to go unanswered.

In Satanism, if the ritual is said to have failed then blame is ultimately put on the “caster” (or in Christianity, the “prayer warrior” or “believer”) The failure is said to sometimes be the result of someone not being aware of the “balance factor” which basically states that you shouldn’t try to perform a ritual that is beyond your ability. This includes but is not limited to trying to attract great sums of money to yourself when you’re only willing or able to put in a low effort, or having below average looks and trying to attract a gorgeous movie star. Magic, it’s said, won’t solve the problem of mediocrity. “Word of Faith” Christianity similarly states that saying all the right words won’t solve the problem of doubt or “God having a better plan.”

What about the assertion from LaVey that the laws of magic were basically the laws of nature? Many religious/spiritual people espouse a belief in something known as “the law of attraction” and many other similar “spiritual laws”. Apparently, if you doubt yourself, you are likely to fail- but is it some supernatural nature of your doubt that “attracts disaster”, or more the fact that if you don’t believe something will succeed you are less likely to put in your best effort, and therefore are less likely to actually succeed? Or what about the people that didn’t have much confidence that they would be able to overcome adversity, but still did? Or the confident people that were blindsided by pain and misfortune?

The more I study religion, the more I believe that we might give ourselves far too much credit, and maybe place ourselves as being more important in the universe than we are. True, there are things we can actively do to improve our lot in life, and having a positive outlook, utilizing “purpose and intent” (or “direction” as LaVey puts it) are very important. I think, however, that we delude ourselves if we think that we can “deserve” more than anybody else in this world. So many things in life are completely outside of our control. We didn’t decide where we would be born, or how we would be raised. We can’t protect ourselves fully from being affected by wars, food shortages, and natural disasters. Often we are “at the right place at the right time” or at “the wrong place at the wrong time” and want to attribute some cosmic significance to these events.

What I’m saying is, maybe there’s no such thing as “magic” to give us a leg-up over other people. (It’s especially hard to take LaVey’s brand of magic seriously when he talks about the “amount of energy need to levitate a teacup”.) For the practitioners of “white light” religions as LaVey called them, maybe there’s no “script.” Maybe you weren’t “chosen from the foundation of the world”, maybe you weren’t “a king in another life”, maybe there’s nothing waiting for us in the afterlife. Maybe this is the one chance we get. The truth is, we don’t have the answers.

The ancient Jews would say their prayers facing the direction of their temple, because that’s where they believed that God was. Jesus was said to have raised his hands to the heavens when he prayed. Other religious people focus inward, inclining themselves to the “god within.” To me, God isn’t in a particular place or location. I’m not even sure what kind of form or quality that “God” possesses. It would be all too easy for me, to along with rejecting a belief in “magic” reject a belief in all hidden agency. I’m not quite ready to take that step. Science has more or less ruled out the existence of a “God of the heavens”- we’ve been to the heavens and found them silent, and remarkably devoid of anything that could be considered similar to a god figure.

Another thing to notice, is that even though I don’t really believe in the effectiveness of a particular kind of prayer or ritual, I still felt disquieted when reading through the last part of the Satanic Bible. Being raised as an Evangelical Christian has made me wary of anything that could be considered “satanic” or of any “witchcraft” or “false religion.” I keep having this unshakeable feeling that “dabbling in the dark arts” is going to get my house “haunted” even though I know that such “hauntings” have never been scientifically proven. Furthermore, many “devils” of Christian demonology were the benevolent gods and goddesses of ancient religion. It could be that the true “pure” religion was actually the pagan religions of the past, especially considering that they pre-dated Christianity by thousands of years. It’s all about perspective. I’m sure to the Native Americans the God of the murderous white Europeans was considered a devil if there ever was one.

My theory is actually this- polytheistic religions were eventually more-or-less supplanted by monotheism. Atheism has existed somewhat quietly alongside all of the main theistic religions since almost the very beginning, but it has never really taken precedence and so I don’t expect atheism to become the “new” theism. Instead, I think that monotheism in the traditional sense is being replaced by something else- maybe a more undefined spirituality, or a belief in a nebulous “something” that undergirds and upholds the Universe. I believe that as we gain more scientific knowledge of our world, that we may find scientific reasoning behind many of the things that we consider “mysteries” or “miracles” today. That being said, I don’t think we’ll outgrow our widespread “need” for a god- of some sort- very soon.

So, do I believe in magic? Not really, but I don’t fully disbelieve either. I’m still a little superstitious; I would definitely feel creeped out if it was said that someone had placed a curse on me. When I’m in distress, I still find an impulse to pray. I still have a sense of things being either “holy” or “unholy” even with the aforementioned admission that I know that it’s all a matter of who’s talking. I’m confronting my personal biases every day. This isn’t easy work, and I’m very grateful to those of you who’ve decided to take this journey with me.


When Gods Become Demons

Previously published on my Tumblr page,

I was using YouTube one morning, when I stumbled upon something interesting in my suggestions. It was an interview conducted by self-proclaimed Christian exorcist, Bob Larson, of Nicholas and Zeena Schreck, who, at the time were higher-ups in the Church of Satan. The interview was more than an hour long, but I sat there spellbound as I watched through the entire thing. Zeena and Nicholas remained incredibly calm and composed in the face of sometimes scathing sarcasm and frequent interruptions from host, Larson.

As the interview progressed, they answered various questions and revealed a number of interesting facts. For one, Nicholas revealed that members of the Church of Satan did not believe in the literal existence of God or Satan. Rather, Satan was a symbolic representation of man’s so-called “carnal nature.” Satanists advocate allowing your natural human instincts to guide you.

The couple also expressed a belief in moral relativism- that there is no such thing as “good” or “evil” but rather these are qualities ascribed to various people and events by people who were in positions of power. Larson was aghast when both Zeena and Nicholas refused to call Hitler “evil” when he asked them about what they thought of him. Nicholas said that his actions weren’t necessarily “evil”- they were actions of a human being performing a human act. Zeena also argued that “there’s always more to the story” at which Larson scoffed.

Anyway, after watching the interview I decided to read The Satanic Bible for myself. It was written by Zeena’s father, Anton LaVey. It begins with the 9 statements of Satanism, which include statements like “Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence” or “Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates”. It moves on into the “Books of Satan” which are some poetic expressions that were reminiscent of maybe Psalms, Proverbs, and the Minor prophets in the Bible- if they had a vastly different message.

“The most dangerous of all enthroned lies is the holy, the sanctified, the privileged lie- the lie everyone believes to be a model of the truth. It is the fruitful mother of all other popular errors and delusions. It is a hydra-headed tree of unreason with a thousand roots. It is a social cancer!” -Book of Satan 2:13

In addition to laying down principles and making various exhortations, there’s also history in the Satanic Bible. There’s a chapter entitled “Hell, the Devil, and How to Sell Your Soul”. Fun fact: it’s not really about how to sell your soul to Satan, because LaVey didn’t believe in that. He even says so- here’s another quote;

“To the Satanist, it is unnecessary to sell your soul to the Devil or make a pact with Satan. This threat was devised by Christianity to terrorize people so they would not stray from the fold…”

The main purpose of the chapter is to reveal how deities of various religions somehow became a part of Christian demonic folklore. LaVey points out that the actual word for devil is actually derived from the Indian word devi which meant “God.” This is not an isolated case. He goes on to say that the “goblin”, “bogey”, and “bugaboo” that were developed to frighten children had their roots in the Slavonic word Bog which also meant “God” (Bhagha from Hindu for “God” is also related).

In fact, according to LaVey even the Greek word “demon” was a word to describe a helpful “spirit guide.” Even the name most often associated with Satan himself, Lucifer was from Latin and meant “bringer of light.” The Greek God Pan who was a part-goat deity of lust and fertility, was eventually adopted into Christian demonology as a demon.

This revelation on how conquering nations often demonized the deities of their subjects revealed how subjective religion really could be. Actually, in the interview, Nicholas Schreck asked why Bob Larson, who was “of European descent” could reject the “beautiful pagan tradition” of his ancestors. Larson responded that “All pagan religions are a deception from Satan to distract people from the truth”. Schreck responded that if that was the truth, why didn’t they know it. Larson quoted Romans 1, which says “the things of creation are clearly seen from the foundation of the world”. It was almost as saddening as it was cringe-worthy, and yet I once avowed these kinds of beliefs.

There’s even more to the Satanic Bible than history, exhortations, and “statements”- there’s relationship advice! There is a long chapter on “Love and Hatred” talking about the importance of sexual freedom. It’s interesting to note that the book was written in 1969, and yet here was LaVey advocating for freedom for “homosexuals, bisexuals, and asexuals”. He was also aware that Satanism was often associated with orgies, but he pointed out that just because you participate in group sex does not mean that you are not sexually repressed. Here are some of his words;

“Satanism does advocate sexual freedom, but only in the true sense of the word. Free love, in the Satanic concept, means exactly that- freedom to either be faithful to one person, or to indulge your sexual desires with as many others as you feel is necessary to satisfy your particular needs.”

He also laid down a foundation that sex should be between consenting adults;

“Aside from the foregoing exceptions (he was talking about BDSM in the earlier paragraph), the Satanist would not intentionally hurt others by violating their sexual rights. If you attempt to impose your sexual desires upon others who do not welcome your advances, you are infringing upon their sexual freedom. Therefore, Satanism does not advocate rape, child molesting, sexual defilement of animals, or any other form of sexual activity which entails the participation of those who are unwilling or whose innocence or naivete would allow them to be intimidated or misguided into doing something against their wishes…”

He also made a lot of other really cool statements about the difference between “spiritual love” and “sexual compatibility” and needing to strike a favorable balance between the two of them. Sometimes, though, he said this isn’t always practical. He even might’ve made a statement in favor of what we now call polyamory when he said this;

“As a matter of fact, often one member of a couple will resort to outside sexual activities because he deeply loves his mate, and wishes to avoid hurting or imposing upon his loved one.”

He was definitely somebody that was way ahead of his time. Also, even though Satanism was widely regarded as a proponent of reckless, hedonistic violence, animal sacrifice, unrestricted self-indulgence, and hatred, if you actually read the Satanic Bible you can see that this is not what LaVey propagated. I’m about a third through my reading of it, but I strongly doubt that he would suddenly turn everything in his initial chapters on its head.

Satanism seems to mostly be about free-thinking, not allowing guilt to rule your life, being selfish to a healthy level, and challenging the so-called “right-hand” or “white light” religions of the world. I would’ve never found any of this out unless I hadn’t been curious and fearless enough to examine the religion for myself.

That being said, I don’t believe that I would join the religion because there are still things that I disagree with. I haven’t gotten to these parts in the book, but Zeena and Nicholas- who by the way, are not a part of the church anymore- stated that they believed in what I’ll term social darwinism– the idea that the strong should take care of themselves and not be overly concerned with the needs of weak people. They seemed to state that the strong were the ones “deserving of love” that were described in the Satanic Bible, and that is isn’t our responsibility to be concerned with refugees or people who are victims of corrupt governments. They also admitted that The Church of Satan was an “elitist organization” open to those who were “worthy” and paid a $100 fee (this was at the time of the 1989 taping of the interview- I have no idea if there’s still a fee to become member of the Church of Satan today). I don’t think I’d make a very “good” Satanist.

Either way, I am so happy and grateful for my newfound freedom to explore different religious concepts, including some “controversial” ones. Expect more posts like this as I continue my religious/spiritual journey.

Achievement Exhaustion

Previously published on my Tumblr page,

I’m going to be reviewing some of the ideas that I explored in my blog post entitled “Just Do It” in which I discussed why raw grit and determination alone aren’t always enough to push you to success. I actually started thinking more about this concept after watching some motivational/inspirational videos on Youtube (I’ve been watching these videos on and off for about a month now).

These videos usually encourage you to look deeper within yourself for the inspiration to push yourself forward. They talk about things such as examining your motives, eliminating time wasters and distractions, crafting clear goals, utilizing systems of reward and punishment, and tracking your progress. I can’t deny that all of this is really good advice, but there’s just one little problem- and that is that sometimes despite doing all the “right” things you just can’t seem to stay on the track that you’ve set for yourself.

For me, the problem is that I used to just be tired. I’m not talking about ordinary levels of exhaustion that can be cured by a good meal and a nice nap. I’m talking about bone-tired, skeleton-stiff, brain-clouding migraine levels of fatigue that won’t go away no matter how much rest you seem to get. Like in another post I quoted the lyrics “Wake Up Exhausted” and that’s exactly what happens- you “just woke up like this.”

This can be a sign of a number of things, but the main message is this- you’re probably doing way too much. The threat of burnout is very real in a number of fields and you have to make sure you are setting appropriate priorities, instead of just trying to do everything all at once.

Let’s say, though, that you aren’t experiencing that type of fatigue, but your whole life is sticking to a strict schedule, always making lists, constantly tracking your goals, staying on a particular diet, etc., and maybe you’re just bored. You may be making progress, but there is absolutely no variation or spontaneity in your routine. You have to make room for play in your life. It seems like an oversimplified suggestion, but you have to remember to actually have fun.

I think this actually goes double for people who are working, studying, or just generally doing this thing called life and dealing with a mental illness. Remembering to take time for yourself doesn’t mean that you’re losing sight of your purpose and your intent. Iyanla Vanzant actually pointed out in her book, entitled, “The Value in the Valley” that your purpose is bigger than just the individual goals that you might set for yourself. There is no specific prescribed method for success. There is still work involved, but you should be able to progress naturally- you should allow your passion to lead you. If some of that is fizzling out, you might want to re-examine what’s going on with you.

When I first decided to drop out of my theory class, I felt so torn. I felt like I was taking the “easy way out”. I believed that I owed it to myself to push myself to the absolute limits of my endurance, and I thought that being under constant pressure was somehow beneficial to my growth as a student and musician. It turns out, that the opposite may be true. Of course, I need to work hard, but having some free tme again has unlocked some of the creativity that was quick disappearing from my work. Another bonus is that I don’t feel achy, fatigued, and “cloudy” all the time. I actually feel like I’m an active participator in my life again.

So everything has its place. A relentless pursuit of achievement may seem good on the surface, but it isn’t always helpful to have tunnel vision. Sure, be focused, be mindful, but remember that there’s “more to life than chasing out every temporary high”. If you see life as just a staircase that you are constantly climbing you might not be aware of the bigger picture. Spend time with your friends, participate in hobbies that you enjoy, and know that you’re valuable as a human being- regardless of what achievements you have unlocked.